DESPERATE MOTHERS

 

The Day Before

See these glasses so empty now

Rings of water and midnight sounds are all that’s here

While the drunks sleep fast the night is clear

Tomorrow’s noon takes them far away

Through the wind claps into harm’s way

Down and gone Sirens sing to the sailors on their silent wings

Yes they’re wild in the night till someone sets them free

There’s nothing as I’m sitting here to move me

Just the sounds of those asleep

 The sun slowly breaks the horizon bright and new

Mothers, time to blow the horn and fly

So here you are and then here you go

Desperate mothers no one will now

Who hold tight to dreams, those madman schemes

To last you through another day                                                                                12/18/82

 

Suicide Takes Time

Stand still my friend; don’t bother to rub those eyes

Your vision won’t clear, besides there’s nothing to see tonight

How brave you are; how terrible life can be

Just hold my hand, we’ll wait for the morning light

Don’t need a knife, a couple more years will do

Yes it takes some time to get it just right                                                                     6/7/83

 

Open Season and the First Goodbye

Oh, you seemed to be so idle so many years

Cast down, the runaround; breathing softly in the underground

Oh, you planned to make it all when you hit the beach

On top, never stop; never doubting that you keep the beat

And the doors so tightly locked now open call you faraway

To all the children you raised so patiently in your mind

To all my wonder it’s hard to believe that you time is now

That you’re going, and knowing I remain

As the days begin to fade as months pass by

So bright the whitelight; I still feel it from those distant nights

And I wonder what you’re doin, where you’re off to now

Somewhere far from here where your stories and your thoughts are clear

And friend I never thought the world would be so silent without your words

Too many moments were spent deciding nothing al all

But in those words and moments I found a world that was warm and bright

But you’re going and knowing I remain                                                                    3/4/83

 

HARDER

Saved again. From the long lost heart beating so supreme; going out for another meal.

Just in time, to catch a glimpse of your perfect face; looking out across the street.

But hiding those hungry eyes, and running too often, leaves so little time to breathe

For me, it seems; life’s getting harder; I feel, my love, life’s getting harder.

Home today, but the house seems a strange and distant place; from what it was just yesterday.

Holding tight, from the bitter truth on the old TV; life’s not what it used to be.

But out in the sun again, it’s so far away, and we’ve come so very far

To ask, to plead, forced to act smarter; I know, I know, life’s getting harder.

And the end seems to be so close these days. Silently waiting to swallow us all.

So I guess I’ll just sleep tonight with you, and if it ends, I’ll be where it feels warm.

Dead and gone; Just the fragrant smell of the spring remains; and this last glass of wine.

Lost and found; so hard to win, but sure to lose should the final hour arrive.

And yet through this hopeless age of me and myself. I think of the other way out

And hey, I see; life’s getting harder. I know, my love, it’s all gotten harder   10/15/81

 

 

Tomorrow

I can see them shadows in the darkness calling for me

In their anger they need me

With my hands tied and my heart held down to keep me silent

Just another day

And I have seen her reaching out to touch me

Hateful and cold; she is asking me for love

For love, child?

And me so helpless as to give her something

But is it love?

I don’t know; I don’t see it; I just wanted someone to talk to

So you feel it and you run into tomorrow searching for some warmth

And a little light to see by

And love child; love will come when your demons free you

From yourself                                                                                                                7/28/83

 

Truth and Beauty

So it finally comes to pass that you just don’t care

As though you’ve tried to find some heat in the winter air

Hard times have put their mark on you

Freedom to yellow and freedom to blue; freedom to pass it off with an angry smile

So much responsibility for someone so young who’d rather be free

Has hardened your brain and help you survive for a while

And yet you claim to hide inside an innocent child

Who holds on tight to all those fears that drive you wild

No one can say you never dream; that you never try and never scheme

But it’s all in your mind and you can’t make it happen today

Now it’s quiet and the night will call again

And you will turn your empty eyes to the rain within

Yes, tears are the friends you love to make; easy to sorrow and easy to fake

With the truth is you’re just afraid that you really don’t care

You say you’re the one who has to change, but change isn’t easy

It’s just not the same as playing the rock that laughs at the pouring rain     3/2/83

 

Face to Face

So now it comes to this dead-end street and playing hard is your line

Too many compromised attitudes; too many dying beliefs

You said I’d never be lonely; you said I’d never be blue

It’s just the payment I get when I hand my life to you

Yet who’s to say you’re the one to blame? Who throws the shadows and doubts?

I only know that I trusted you and now I’m living without

It’s not so bad being lonely; it's not so bad being blue

It’s just another example of the hell you put me through

Well friend it’s time to turn the page; it’s time to blot out this lie

I know that life can be difficult but I’m not ready to die

Perhaps we’ll always be lonely; perhaps we’ll always be blue

But I can’t stand going nowhere like I can’t deny I’m you                                   3/22/83